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HOWTO: Top 10 Ways to Piss Off a Band

In my adventures with Stellar Kart and previous groups that I have traveled with, there have definitely been times where promoters and personnel putting on a concert have gone well and below the bar of trying to make the band feel welcome and sometimes being rude and disrespectful.  This post goes out to the would-be concert promoter who is considering bringing in a band….don’t do the following:

10.  Don’t pay the band, or, when handing the check to the band, use the phrase…”Ya…give me a few days to get things squared away with the bank.”

9.  For meals, hire the cheapest catering you can find, or, if preparing meals, use the cheapest ingredients you can find, alternatively, pizza or no food at all.

8.  If you happen to be booking flights for the band, ensure that the departure time is the most inconvienient as possible.  6:00 a.m. is typically a good option here.

7.  Allow all of your volunteers for helping the band load-out their gear at the end of the night leave before loading out their gear.  To enhance this element, you yourself leave the venue before the band.

6.  After the band sound checks, allow the production personnel to change all of the settings that the band dialed in for their sound check, thus nullifying every possible setting the band had set for their preference.

5. Ensure that the band’s dressing room is some sort of small closet with no bathroom or mirror.  Small choir dressing rooms with lots of robes, drama wardrobe rooms, nursery, or children’s sunday school rooms work best in this case.

4. Tell the band in advance that you have sold more tickets than you have and use the phrase, “We’re expecting a large walk up”.  This makes the band feel good.  There will be plenty of opportunities to sell more tickets before they arrive.  A good formula to use for this is to take your current number of tickets sold times 2, then add 100.

3. Do not supply enough power for the sound or lighting system, or, to enhance this, supply only enough power so that just as the band plays their first song, the power/circuit breaker goes out.

2. Do not pay for the hotel rooms in advance so that when the band arrives at the hotel, they aren’t able to check in to their rooms.  Alternatively, tell the band at the end of the night that instead of a hotel, they will be staying with Uncle Bill.  His 7 yr. old offered to give up his extra small bed.

1. Request the band to play two songs, then have a drama, then two more songs, then a video, two more songs, then a speaker, then an acoustic song.

These steps allow you to have a great experience with the band, and make them wanting to come back…right.

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  • I have an Uncle Bill and he is cool!

    [Reply]

    Sators reply on April 1st, 2008:

    I have nothing against Uncle Bill, only his son’s extra small uncomfortable bed.

    [Reply]