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To regret is an understatement

Boy, I blew it.

This week I have learned a really hard lesson about not letting my frustration get the best of me.  I have joined the ranks of Kevin Colvin, “theconnor“, and others who have gotten themselves into carreer trouble through Facebook, Twitter, or in my case, their blog.

This weekend I had some unfortunate circumstances happen to me on the road.  Really in retrospect now it seems silly, but at the time I got really fired up about it.  At the time, it seemed like the people who could do anything to resolve it didn’t really care.  Perhaps I didn’t know them well enough…whatever the case, I was wrong.  All of these perceptions on Sunday boiled over and frustration and tension got the best of me, and so I let out what feelings I was having at the time on this here blog.  (Don’t bother trying to find the post…it’s gone.)  Boy, that was another example of where I was wrong to say the least. Not only did I say things I didn’t mean, but I brought up issues that weren’t even relevant or that aren’t even bothering me – seems my frustration was feeding on itself – and thus my demise.

I was sitting on a plane, created the blog, posted to my facebook, and the flight took off.  An hour and a half later when the flight touched down, I came to my senses, deleted it, and took every reference to it down.  Too late.

The people who I thought didn’t care actually did, and those same folks who could have and eventually would have resolved the circumstances in which I had suffered read my fuming blog post.  It is those same individuals who controlled whether I worked for them or not, and after reading my admittingly inappropriate post, decided it best that I not be with them any longer.

I can’t blame them, this is absolutely 100% my fault.  Just when I had started to feel like everything was going well with this gig, I go and shoot myself in the foot.  It’s definitely a wake up call to me – I’ve never done this before, being so blunt online or letting my frustrations and emotions run away.  I wouldn’t recommend it.  Not only was it just plain foolish, but I put in writing things that I didn’t even mean.  I let the emotion of the moment dig my grave.

It’s a sad day, naturally gray skies and starting to rain outside.  Ultimately, I’ve learned a big lesson here at the cost of working with a great band, an awesome crew, and in a fun environment.

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  • oh no

    [Reply]

  • JR

    Hey bro. Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, I’m king of writing stuff down that probably shouldn’t be public or is just me fuming. If I’d given myself ten minutes…

    Anyway, I think at some point or another we’ve all been there.

    [Reply]

    Sators reply on March 24th, 2009:

    Seriously dude…that really was my tragic flaw. I usually re-read everything that I post once or twice…I didn’t even read through it till I had pulled it offline. So foolish, I didn’t mean a lot of things that I wrote, just let my frustration go. Hindsight is truly 20/20, but if I had just hit Save as Draft or read through what I had written…..

    [Reply]

  • drewby

    dude, sucky.

    love ya.

    [Reply]

  • Jennifer

    Sorry to hear about that. I haven’t figured out all of facebook yet, but I definitely don’t like the seemingly not as privateness feel to it. I have done the same thing, only not as severe and learned to put all of my frustration out in a blog that I keep private, only I can read it, until I have calmed down and read it again and edit it if necessary. Recently, I went back and read some old blogs and laughed at myself for being so silly about stupid things. Other things, though, I felt the exact same way!

    [Reply]

  • Matt,

    Frustration on the road is a weight everyone carries, Its how you deal with it the ultimately and you sometimes feel as you dont get any ME time There are may way people deal with it, Some drink, Some use drugs, Some eat, Some sleep, Some argue and fight, and others explode only to regret…its a hard thing to deal with especially in the tour environs. You meet New Best Friends everyday, and many dont even care to know your name, Your on a schedule thats unbending, in a strange town, venue dealing with people that you may or may not like.

    I found a relief for myself in Exercise, and I always make good use of a treadmill when I can and does that treadmill pay…..I once worked with a guy in LA who was a great LD, he worked all the glory gigs and rubbed elboys with Rocks Elite, He seemed unflappable and was always great in his work and attitude.

    One night after a grueling weekend of shows we were getting ready to drop the Rig and I looked up to see him STANDING with no fall protection, no hands leaning out over the rig, 30 plus feet in the air, He was crying and babbling, he had a nervous breakdown and he jumped from the rig and was badly hurt, Everyone was shocked and couldnt figure out what happened. He said after recuperating that he had worked so hard to get ahead, to be someone, to be the LD that everone wanted to work with he had forgotten to be a person, to Live and Love, Breathe and Eat…..

    I learned long ago that the pressure of the road and that life can kill you, can ruin you and unless you find a good way to talk about it, deal with it, you wind up regretting and then its too late.

    Dont forget your human, we make mistakes, we arent machines, You should be able to express your Issues and talk and openly communicate, if not then I wouldnt work there.
    Dont be too hard on your self, to err is human, and you are a human, youll learn from it and do better next time, dealing with a bunch of ego’s on the road is sometimes a trying time, I dont know you personally but I wanted to share my experiences with you, Good Luck.

    [Reply]